This is the last week of summer camp, and next Monday the children will be going back to school.

Is there anyone out there wondering whether I am counting down the days?

It is Friday morning as I get my breakfast at McDonald's. As I pour my coffee, the jazz plays over the speaker system. Ronald is playing a few chords on the jazz guitar as I put the lid on my coffee. Remember, the contents are hot, I think to myself. Unlike some other moron who sued McDonald's because the coffee was hot.

IT'S SUPPOSE TO BE HOT!

If you want iced coffee, go to Starbuck's. Or Dunkin' Donuts, for that matter.

The weekend is here, and everyone either has plans or are making plans. As for me, I have to get an oil change for the truck later today. And I hope to go to the cinema this weekend. I have not been to a movie in a long time.

As for tunes for your weekend, I can recommend two new albums. Tom Petty has a new album that came out this week, The Highway Companion. And if you are a Pink Floyd fan, David Gilmour came out with a wonderful CD called On An Island. I bought both in the past week, and I am happy with both of them.

Now if you excuse me, I am going to listen to the latest from Pearl Jam and Neil Young. I will let you know how those are later.

I wonder if that lady has found the mustard yet?

Have a great weekend.

So here I am at Hot Dog Heaven on Colonial Drive in Orlando,standing in line to get two Chicago-style hot dogs with a side and a drink when a woman approaches the counter and asks the person working the cash register:

"Excuse me. Do you have any mustard?"

You are at a place that sells hot dogs, and you ask if they have mustard?

After a moment of awkward silence, the person directed the customer to a condiment tray loaded with mustard and ketchup packets.

Another employee had something else to say, but waited until she left to go sit outside.

I would tell you what he said, but I am going to let you have some fun with this one. Fill in the blank below as to what your response would be.

"_______________________________________________."

A pastor entered a donkey he owned in a horse race, and the donkey won. Many people could not believe that this could happen, so the pastor entered the donkey in another horse race. And sure enough, the donkey won again! This pleased the pastor very much that his donkey had done so well.

The next day, the local paper ran the headline:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT IN FRONT

Upon reading this, the bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day, the local paper headline reads:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, upon hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN

After reading this, the bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day, the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10

This was really getting to be too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES THAT HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE

The bishop was buried the next day!

The moral of the story is...being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Sometimes I read other blogs, but I never leave a comment. Maybe it's because I don't have the time, or sometimes it's just that I don't have anything to say.

If you don't hear anything, it will probably be me. I'll be there, reading your blog. And if you don't see a comment from me, no need to worry. I have already been there, reading about what has happened in a day of a fellow blogger. Or it could be a joke I read, or maybe something about the word LIE. And I am not telling a lie, I promise you that. I read your blog.

So if you are reading this, it is time for me to retire to dreamland. The alarm clock goes off really early for the drinking buddy.

Good night, have a great Wednesday, and I will write something on this blog when I get an idea.

Now if only the woman in my dream can get naked BEFORE the alarm clock goes off.....