After I had finished my post while on break at work yesterday, I decided to finish my shift by doing some work that needed to be done outside. As I walked around the grounds of the neighborhood center, I noticed dark clouds coming in. That is usually a good indication that it is going to rain. Seeing that it will soon rain, I decided to take down the flag.

Our flag pole is out front of our neighborhood center, and is near the parking lot. As I walked up to the flag pole, I noticed a man standing near. I figured that he was a parent of one of the children in our summer camp.

As I began to take the flag down, he said, "Excuse me...", and then proceeded to tell me that his Ford Excursion is about out of gas and if he could borrow a few dollars.

Excuse me?!

If I remember correctly, when the Ford Excursion was brought out in 1999, it had a base price of $34,000. That is not including options, which would bring the price up to anywhere from $37,000 to well over $40,000.

Now let me get this straight. You are driving a vehicle that costs around $40,000. So that means that you must be making twice as much money as I am. And you want me to give you a few dollars for gas?

I think you know what my answer was.

Hello Mudder, Hello Fodder,

It's Thursday, which means that we are one day away from completing Week Five of summer day camp. Fortunately, we have not had any serious injuries. A few bloody noses. A few cuts and scrapes. But no broken bones. It seems that every summer camp, one of the campers breaks an arm, leg, etc. When children are involved in a physical activity, it can happen.

Most of the children have been good, but the noise level is beyond belief. Even when the campers are eating lunch, they somehow manage to talk loud, shout, yell, scream, laugh, and make imitations of bodily noises. The noise of belching or passing gas are so amusing to children. As well as to some adult males that I know.

Anyway, I am on a new schedule for the summer. In the past, I would come in at 6:00 a.m. and wake up the rooster. I would then work until 2:30 p.m. This year, my manager decided to change my hours to 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. It's not a bad shift, since I can sleep in a little later. I am here to five o'clock, however, so by the time I get home and get dinner cooked, it is between 6:30-7:00 p.m. Which isn't bad if a Tampa Bay Devil Rays game is on.

I have noticed that when I get home, there are times when I do not turn on the television or the stereo. It is totally quiet. As the title from the DePeche Mode song states, "Enjoy The Silence".

No yelling. No children fighting one another over something petty, although it is a big deal to them. No girl dancing on a table. And hopefully, that will not be the profession she chooses when she grows up.

I find myself enjoying the silence. I even think of it now when I hear a counselor telling a child to sit down. Or to stop talking. Or stop making noises that sound like bodily functions. Hopefully, those are imitations.

Well, it is time to go. The head counselor is rotating the age groups to go to their next assigned area. It rained earlier this afternoon, so hopefully the weather will break so that the children can go swimming. They really enjoy swimming.

I have to make my rounds and see if anything needs to be cleaned, repaired, thrown away, found, fixed, opened, closed, put away,... did I forget anything.

And as I make my rounds, I better not see Silly Sally dancing on any tables. And there better not be any kid standing by the table with a dollar bill in his hand.

It's another Saturday night, and I'm thinking of the old Sam Cooke tune. Not much is going on right now. We just finished the fourth week of summer camp at the neighborhood center, and the theme parks have been busy.

And the temperatures have been in the 90s. It is after midnight, and I just got off the patio after having a weekend cigar. And the temperatures are still in the 80s. Thank goodness for air conditioning.

If you are unaware of the summers in Florida, it is hot and humid. With afternoon showers. Hot, wet, and sticky. Sounds like a porn movie.

Anyway, not much has been going on here. It has been a quiet week, and I have not been doing much. After dealing with 150 children every day, you do not feel like doing much when you get home. And when the weekend comes, you get to deal with several thousand tourists. All complaining about how hot and humid it is here in Florida. If it is 80 degrees in December, what do you think the temperature will be in June?

Oh, and June is the start of Hurricane season. Time to stock up on canned goods, batteries, candles, propane, etc...

I have my hurricane supplies ready, and I'll have to stock up on any canned goods down the road. The store had a buy one, get one free sale on canned vegetables, so I'm fine on the veggies. Now I'll have to stock up on canned beef stew and chicken and dumplings.

Two words: Dinty Moore.

Well, Saturday Night Live is over, as well as my cigar and my Captain Morgan and Coke. And in case you are wondering, I stock up on those three items when a hurricane comes along. There is an old Italian horror movie on entitled "Lady Frankenstein" on, so I will have to watch that. It's one of those that is so bad, it's good.

I know it was not on the AFI Top 100 Films. But I'll write about that next week. For now, it's time to watch a low budget B horror film hosted by a brunette with big...

It looks like I'm going to need a Captain Morgan and Coke for this one.

Anyway, I just wanted to drop by and say hello. And to let any of you know that I'm still alive. And I'll be making coffee in the morning in case anyone should stop by.

Have a great Sunday.

Now where's my shot glass....

It's the start of another week as we start the fourth week of summer camp. I remember it being Friday, then the next thing you know, it's Monday. The weekend goes by fast, doesn't it.

Last Thursday, an old friend stopped into town. It was an old roommate, which I will call Miss T. That is the first letter of her name. Anyway, Miss T and her daughter moved back to her home state of Ohio a few years ago, and she has since married. So it was a nice surprise to have her knocking on my apartment door last Thursday evening. Better than someone wanting a favor.

"Excuse me, but can you help me move something with your truck?"

Fuck no!

Anyway, her family decided to take a week vacation and come down to Florida, since Miss T has several friends here in Orlando. She had contacted me via e-mail, but did not have my telephone number. She did, however, have my address. So when they were in the neighborhood, she stopped by to say hello. I got to meet her husband, Mr. R., who happens to own and operate an appliance store. He seems to be a really nice man. I am glad to see that Miss T. met a great guy. I remember a few of the guys she dated when she lived in Orlando. But that's another story.

I got together with her family on Saturday, then they went to Fort Myers to visit another friend. It was nice to spend some time with them.

I also had another old ex-roommate get in touch with me. That would be my old friend, Mr. D. He recently went on vacation with his wife and children. Coming back to Orlando, Mr. D and his wife have not heard from me, so he called to see if I am still alive.

I think I need to call a few people and say hello.

Except for the guy who wants to borrow my truck.

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and hats. The next morning, the two priests went to the beach dressed in their "tourist" attire. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine, and the scenery when an attractive, topless blonde in a thong bikini came walking straight towards them.

They could not help but stare, since this woman was "drop dead gorgeous".

As the blonde passed them by, she smiled and said,"Good morning, Father." She then looked at the other one and said, "Good morning, Father." After she walked by, the priests were both stunned. Both of them could not help but think how in the world she knew they were priests.

So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. Their attire was so loud that you could hear them coming before you even seen them.

After they dressed in their new attire, they settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine.

Later that morning, the same gorgeous, topless blonde, wearing a different colored thong, walked towards them.

As she passed by, she nodded at both of them and said, "Good morning,Father. Good morning, father." She then started to walk away.

One the the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said,"Just a minute, young lady."

"Yes, Father?"

"We are priests and proud of it. But I have to know. How in the world did you know we are priests, dressed like this?"

To which she replied, "Father, it's me. Sister Mary Kathryn."