Bill Clinton started jogging near his new home in Chappaqua. But on each run he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner, day after day. With some apprehension he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow.

"Fifty dollars!", she would yell out from the curb.

"No, five dollars!", fired back Bill.

This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days. He would run by and she would yell, "Fifty dollars!"

And he would yell back, "Five dollars!"

One day, however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog. As the couple neared the street corner, Bill realized the prostitute would yell her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder what he had really been doing on all of his past outings.

He realized he should have a darn good explanation for the junior Senator. As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Bill became more apprehensive than usual.

Sure enough, there was the hooker. Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.

Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled...

"See what you get for five bucks!"

I remember a song from the Pretenders with a line about watching the laundry go around. I spent a good part of yesterday doing just that.

I had plans for Friday evening, only to get backed up with errands. By the time I had dinner, it was 7:00 p.m. I had to be at the shopping mall before 9:00 p.m. to make a payment on my J.C. Penney card, then I had another store to go to before that store closed. So much for seeing a movie.

I did not feel like going out to a bar. The last time I went out for a few drinks, I had some attractive woman rubbing up against me the whole evening. That would not be bad, considering that she was there with her husband.

Her husband apologized to me for her behavior and made a comment as to why he doesn't take her out for drinks. I can see why.

It seems like when I go out for drinks, I always attract some weirdo. Why, a friend of mine even bought me a t-shirt with the following caption:

If I am a magnet, then why do I attract assholes?

As for that wild and crazy Friday night I had planned, it was spent at home with a diet soda and a cigar. After work on Saturday, I got REALLY wild and crazy! Two beers! No laundry tonight. I will do that Monday.

So it is Monday. And I am watching the clothes go around. Boy, talk about an exciting bachelor life.

Where did that wild and crazy guy go? I guess he matured. Either that,or got tired of attracting the weirdos. Two beers? I remember back in the day when I had two beers, the night was getting started. And if a woman was rubbing against me, she was single. And there was no jerk around looking to try to kick my ass.

I will try to make plans for this coming Friday. Don't hold your breath, though. I may have more errands to run. At least I got the laundry out of the way.

Hey Folks. It's Friday! That means that its a five fun facts Friday!

So, let's see if I have my list of five ready:

1.) Called the police.

2.) Called the fire department.

3.) Called the hospitals in the surrounding area.

4.) Called the National Guard.

5.) Notified all broadcasts media (television and radio).

Yep. That's it. Now I'm ready to go out for a Friday night. I'll notify you when/if I get back. For now, have a great weekend.

I'm wondering if anyone else needs to be notified. Besides kin.

An unattractive, obnoxious woman enters a Wal-Mart with her two children. While she gets a shopping cart, she is swearing at both of her children. This caused several shoppers and cashiers to stop and stare at her.

"Hello! Welcome to Wal-Mart!", says the Wal-Mart greeter. "What two wonderful children you have there. Are they twins?"

"No, they're not twins, ya' moron!", the rude woman tells him in a loud voice. "One is seven years-old and the other one is five years-old. "What are ya', blind or stupid?"

"No miss", says the Wal-Mart greeter. I am neither blind or stupid."

"I am just surprised that you were able to get laid twice!

As I have mentioned before, I have a job on the weekend at one of the area amusement parks. I work as a food vendor at an outdoor cart. I work at different carts everyday, so one day I can be working on an ice cream cart. And the next day I can be working at a beverage cart.

Not only am I responsible for providing the park guests a service, but I am also responsible for the money and the inventory. So at the end of the shift, I have to do a count of my inventory. As for the cash, we have a machine that counts the money from the sales for the day.

Every time I am counting inventory, a park guest comes up in the middle of my count and interrupts with a question.

"Twelve, thirteen,...'Excuse me, how do you get to...'"fourteen, fifteen....'Excuse me, how do you get to......'"

And if you lose track of your counting, you have to start all over again.

Why is it that whenever you are counting something like money, someone interrupts your train of thought?

"Six, seven..."Excuse me, have you seen where the....'"

And then they apologize for messing up your count. Why bother, you shouldn't have interrupted me in the first place. I see someone in the middle of something, such as counting money, my question can wait. But instead, I have to get someone interrupting me in the middle of my work to answer a question that could have waited.

If it was an emergency, I would drop everything to help that person. Especially if that person needed medical assistance. But interrupting my work for something that is a non emergency, I just don't understand. I guess some people expect you to drop whatever you're doing and serve them.

One of these days, I feel like telling them to take their silly ass question to the other side of the park.