Sea breeze caresses my face as I sit on my Harley at the red light of the intersection of Main Street and A1A. The bikers with the green light rumble through the intersection on their way north. Up to State Road 40, then take a left down to Highway U.S. 1. Right on U.S. 1, and down to the Iron Horse Saloon for a cold beer. Just what I need on this warm Daytona Day. Bike Week 2008 is in full gear.

The sun shines down upon me, making me sweat as my head bakes in this helmet. Better to be safe than sorry. I am not riding the hog without a helmet. As the hog sits idle, I feel the motor rev beneath me. The vibration races up my legs and into my thighs. And as I sit at the light, I feel her body press up against mine. Her legs rubbing up against mine. As she pulls herself into my space, I feel her tits rub on my back. Long, jet black hair from underneath her helmet blows in the ocean breeze. She then proceeds to talk to me in her raspy voice. And as she reaches down between my legs, I hear her say....

"Al, has recreation maintenance come by to pick up those tables that we borrowed for our event at the park last Saturday?"

It is Wednesday, and Bike Week 2008 is in full gear. And I am stuck at work inside on this beautiful day. My manager is asking me something about tables, but the voice is distant. It is a gorgeous March day. The type of day your retired relatives who moved down here brag about over the phone while you freeze your ass off.

"Al? Did you hear what I said? Did maintenance come by to get the tables?"

Sorry. But my mind is riding on a Harley sixty miles away. And the Zena look-a-like with her arms around my waist is riding with me on my hog as we go off into the sunset.

If you are planning a vacation to Orlando, which is where I live, chances are you may be staying at a hotel, time share, or resort on International Drive. That is where the Orange County Convention Center is located. Universal Studios and Sea World are close proximity to International Drive. Or I-Drive, as the locals call it. And the Disney theme parks are just a few miles down as you take Interstate 4 from the I-Drive ramp.

With all the people in town for conventions, tourists visiting the theme parks, and locals checking out the restaurant/night club scene, International Drive makes for one busy street.

Unfortunately, with all of these people in one location, there comes the unwanted element of crime. From time to time, there will be a story on the local news about tourists being held up near an establishment on I-Drive. Sometimes, there have been tourists held up by robbers as they come back to their rooms from an evening out.

There was another hold up yesterday morning on I-Drive. This one, though, indicates how tough the times are. Apparently, two men held up a tourist on I-Drive but were later caught. From the details I got from the news report, police found the men fitting the description of the robbers sitting in a SUV. Police later were to find out that the men had robbed the tourist because they needed money for gas. And after they made the getaway, their SUV ran out of gas.



Could you just imagine being a police officer in his squad car chasing after an SUV being pushed by the robber while his partner in crime steered the vehicle.

In a way, you do have to laugh. But then again, it is also sad that someone is too lazy to work and has to get money for gas by robbing someone.

Maybe the tourists who are staying on I-Drive need to carry a one gallon gas can with them as they walk from their hotel to the restaurant they plan to dine at. This way, all the the person has to do is ask if anyone has gas. Then the tourist can turn over the gas container, and know one gets hurt.

What next? A tourist being held up so someone can buy groceries?

I am in the middle of watching LOST, and there is a commercial break. If you are on the computer and are doing some web surfing, I have a few fun web sites for you to go to.

If you are unsure as to who to vote for in the 2008 Presidential election, go to www.votechooser.com. You are asked to answer ten questions about subjects discussed in the primary debates. Your answers are then matched up with the politician you are most likely to agree with.

The other website is www.zipskinny.com. When you go to the website, you enter your zip code, and information from the census bureau comes up with information about the zip code area you live in.

Well, the show is over. And Desmond finally got to talk to Penny. Have fun with the web sites, and I'll holler at ya' soon.

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,

"He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified about the thought of two people nearly 100 years old having sex, Katie told her grandmother about the risks involved.

"Oh no, my dear," replied Grandma. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued.

"He would still be alive if it wasn't for that ice cream truck driving by."