The neighborhood center that I work at just received a free pool table.

I put the emoticon for rolling on the floor laughing after that sentence because the story I am about to tell you will have you doing the same. Unless you are an angry taxpayer.

Anyway, I received word on Wednesday afternoon that mobile maintenance would be bringing a pool table over to put in the game room at our neighborhood center. The pool table was used at a smaller facility, and that recreation center was getting a new pool table.

So whenever a recreational facility receives new equipment, calls are made to the other neighborhood centers inquiring as to whether they are interested in getting the equipment. Kind of like getting handmedowns from your older brother or sister. This however, is more like unloading one's junk onto somebody else. Then that recreation center is stuck with equipment that is in dire need of repair.

So mobile maintenance finally delivers this pool table to our center, and there are seven employees that have made the trip over to our facility. One employee, a recreational specialist, is running her mouth giving orders. So you know that she is not going to do a damn thing but get in the way and be a pest. Another guy who was there to help had muscle, but just stood around looking like he was supervising. He didn't say anything. He just stood there looking stupid. Another employee helped move the pool table off of the trailer, then disappeared until it was time to go. A fourth employee acted like he made an effort to help, but he more or less was in a hurry to get the job done so he could go back to sitting around all day. Which left me, a fellow employee named James, and an employee I did not know by name trying to move a pool table with a slate top of one inch thick.

So, needless to say, the pool table was heavy and difficult to move. As a result, two legs on the pool table were broken because the table was not disassembled before moving. As we are looking at our "free" pool table, we notice that the felt to the table needs to be replaced. I also notice that a cushion on the side of the table needs to be replaced. Oh, yeah. And the two legs that now needed to be repaired.

This morning, two representatives from a billiard table company come in to look at the table. You know it is going to be bad when the center manager for the neighborhood center asks the reps how much the repairs will cost, they both break into laughter.

"Actually, this pool table will run you about $1,500.00 brand new.", says one of the reps.

He then proceeds to tell us that since the pool table is made of one inch slate, it would be worth restoring. Now, I know a little bit about pool tables. And if the pool table is made of slate,it is going to last you a long time. And even though the table cover will need to be replaced because of the use the pool table gets at the recreation center, that cover will last a long time.

Here is where my blood starts to boil. The rep from the billiard company informs us that it would have cost only $150.00 to have the table disassembled and moved. But since the recreation department decided to move it and save money, the table was damaged in the process.

So now, we have to pay near $300.00 for having the table disassembled and the legs repaired. And that is not including the $300.00 for the material and recovering. Plus another $90.00 for new pockets.

So much for the "free" pool table. If there is a silver lining along the black cloud in this story, I know that the children will love the idea of having two pool tables to play on. Especially when summer camp will be starting soon.

Now if only we could get a new net for the ping pong table.